In Love With This Song. Neyo - Go On Girl.~

I can't get it back

But I don't want it back

I realize that

She don't know how to act

Never been a dumb dude

No I'm not dense

I just had a slight lack of common sense

I was the good guy

She was the bad girl

I'm thinking one girl

She thinking me, Earl, James, and Jimmy

Yup she had plenty

But love for me she didn't have any

I was inviting, her into my heart

But she was out riding, in some other man's car

She was my nighttime, thought I was her star

Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong

Won't take long for me to move on

Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine

(Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine)

Only gonna play the fool one time

(Only gonna play the fool one time)

Trust me when I say

That I'll be okay

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

I can't get it back

But I don't want it back

I realize that

She don't know how to Tried to settle down and look what I get

Thought it was my time but I guess not yet

She at the bar getting drinks from many men

I'm in the house thinking she's with her girlfriends

Trust not knowing, truly not knowing

I look back now like, man, I was open

I was inviting, her into my heart

But she was out riding, in some other man's car

She was my nighttime, thought I was her star

Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong

Won't take long for me to move on

Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine

(Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine)

Only gonna play the fool one time

(Only gonna play the fool one time)

Trust me when I say

That I'll be okay

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl

The mistake I made is clear

(We never should've been together)

That's the reason you're not here

(I know that I could do much better)

Not a single salty tear

Not a feeling in my chest

Baby I'm feeling no stress

I'm too fly to be depressed

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine

(Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine)

Only gonna play the fool one time

(Only gonna play the fool one time)

Trust me when I say

That I'll be okay

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl

Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine

(Please don't worry 'bout me I'm fine)

Only gonna play the fool one (Only gonna play the fool one time)

Trust me when I say

That I'll be okay

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl

Go on girl

Go on girl, go on girl, go on girl

I'll be fine

Miss him so.. :'( ~

I talk to him everyday, yet i can't get enough of him. is there something wrong with me? && yet he does not mind, coz it's me. or so he says. he could lie to me right? right? I mean, i wonder if he gets tired of me.. Will he get irritated? Will he stop talking to me? IS there a Problem with me?? Yet he says i am Cute, Tall, Perfect && Special. He makes me believe again. Am i playing the fool here or.. i don't know.. man...

The Veronicas - Untouched

(he makes me feel untouched && that is how i want to feel forever.)

I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want

Don't stop

Give me give me give me what you got got

Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more

Don't even talk about the consequence

Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me

And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think

Cause you're the only one who's on my mindI'll never ever let you leave me

I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)

I feel so untouched

And I want you so much

That I just can't resist you

It's not enough to say that I miss you

I feel so untouched right now

Need you so much somehow

I can't forget youI've gone crazy from the moment I met you

UntouchedAnd I need you so much

See you, breathe you, I want to be you

Alalalala alalalala

You can take take take take take time time

To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life

Give me give me give me all of you you

Don't be scaredI'll see you through the loneliness of one more more more

Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right

Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around

To answer all the questions left behind

And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today

You've still got me to hold you up up

And I will never let you down (down)

I feel so untouched

And I want you so much

That I just can't resist you

It's not enough to say that I miss youI feel so untouched right now

Need you so much somehowI can't forget youI've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched, untouched, untouched, untouched, untouched

Alalalala alalalala

Untouched

Alalalala alalalala

I feel so untouched

And I want you so much

That I just can't resist you

It's not enough to say that I miss you

I feel so untouched right now

Need you so much somehow

I can't forget youI've gone crazy from the moment I met you

I feel so untouched

And I want you so much

That I just can't resist youIt's not enough to say that I miss you

I feel so untouched right now

Need you so much somehowI can't forget you

I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched, untouched, untouched

Happy Father's Day!!

i would like to say, even though i am not there with my father right now, i love my father so dearly. He supports me in whatever i do. i am a totally daddy's Girl! i JUST WANNA SAY I lOVEY lOVE lUB lUV MY DADDY SoOoOoOoOo... MUCH!!!

&& Of Coz My Mum Too!!

i fall for guys out of my country..HARD! i wish i was there right now..~

Why is it, when you think you have fallen in love, it always has something that pulls you back? Like he's from another country, bla bla bla.. but why is that? i feel so pissed off every time i see the cutest guy on the street or the net, he has to be from or going some where else. Recently, well last night, lol, i talked to my ol' friend Peter-Aun from Belgium. && yes, he's a White Guy. Never Really Fancied Asian/Japanese/Taiwan or whatever asian-looking race there was. I suddenly noticed how he grown so big (muscles) lol, && different, in a good way && he also says so have i. we just spent the night staring at each other, talking about how we look so different now. Peter's my age by the way. i knew him back when we were in High School && kinda forgotten about the poor bloke. Well, apparently, he ain't a lil bloke anymore. He's Big!! in a musclee kind of way.

But he really is doing Big things over there. Like Starting Underground Parties, Concerts, managing bands, that sort of thing, making a HUGE name for HImself. i did actually miss him when i saw he was online. Coz you see, i had 2 msn messenger accounts && never really used the old one anymore, but once i broke up with my Ex now, i realized i did not want to talk to any one now on my msn, so i signed in to my old one, which somehow, i remembered the password too?! Honestly, i do not even remember it now, i just typed && Ba'am chicka wa wa!! there it was opened in front of me. && honestly speaking, i feel better from coming out of that relationship, it was never a relationship to begin with, i was not going to play mummy && stay home just to wait for him. "He had possession issues." && i knew one day, once he's gone, he'll be gone for good. It felt real good to be Free Once more. All i need now is to be cautious, no more trusting guys as easy as i once did.

 But i just could not tell my ol' friend the truth of breaking up the same day. && he knew there was something wrong with me. But he did not push. He knows me too well to do anything stupid that will upset me.  But the fact we both needed to get to bed. We did not want to. asking each other silly things like, "are you going?" "you going yet?" "i'll go if you go."

We just kept staring at each other through the webcam. Even though there was nothing to say,you know when you get those little pauses in between conversations? We just sat there as if we were stoned. (Love-Stoned)

 But he did cheer me up with his guitar playing, told me his band is hitting it Big Time, He just got back from France When i 

talked to him. He looked pretty wasted, so i asked. I told him to sleep, he did not want too && when i did not say anything, he said you know why. && i actually did.

After the introducing of what we were up to, he asked if i had a boyfriend. Which clearly last night i had broken it off with, but i did not tell him. I did not even answer that question, but thank God, the Connection spaced out && i apologized for it. && yes, it was accidental, i assure you.  

Once i got back online, we got back to talking, soon after that, he suddenly gave me pet names, like "baby", "love","honey" etc. which we never used to do. I said "we" because i was playing with him && i thought he was playing with me as well, you know like when i call "my girls = babes or huns." as in friends. But it got odd after a while,you know that atmosphere you can feel like there something going on. 

 i asked other questions, until i got to the point where i asked him if he had a gal of his own, he said, "No." i called him a Liar. lol. i mean come on, He's Hot now. "Now." lol. I'm Not saying he is the rebound guy && i am not the type of girl who needs a guy beside her anyways. But Peter has taken an interest in me && i in him too. So i have no clue what is going on now.

 

Okay, let me describe you what he looks like now, He has long hair, but jagged, you know the type like surfers have. Still above the Shoulders. Blonde. Blue Eyes. Clean. Built body, the three abs going on, sharper features, Good chiseled face structure (bone Jaw). && way taller. White Guy, Rich. He made it all on His own. The most awesome thing that surprised me was that he was totally SxE, which i am. Both HxC && SxE.

If ya'll do not know what SxE means or HxC. 

Straight Edge is our life style, be what you are. what you eat, how you keep your body. No Drugs, no cigs (cigarettes), no needles, no nothing! Being Clean inwards && out. When People look at you, they know there is a difference, we do not conform to this world && the material things that keep us tied down (addiction).

&& surprisingly SxE is what Peter is. Because looking at his lifestyle, Underground parties, Concerts, Stereotypical for drugs, sex && toxication. && honestly, i am very much proud of Peter, coz he would never lie to me. Deep down he is still the same peter i once knew before && Thank Goodness the same funny, cute, sexy eyed Peter i come to love now. Except HOTTER! <3

HxC = HardCore. SxE = Straight Edge.

Basically these terms mean the way you live your life. I'm Hardcore because i have been living in a tough world, i fight for myself && for the ones i love && treasure so dearly, believe me when i say that i will be there when you need me. i do not back down no matter what. I'll stand tall && take whatever hits me, but you got to know, you will get it back 100 fold. just a warning, no biggie. :)

-the end-

RIhanna - Take A Bow (Break-Up)

Go On && Take A Bow. 

We're Over..~ 

How about a round of applause

A standing ovation

You look so dumb right now

Standing outside my house

Trying to apologize

You’re so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

[Chorus]

Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not

Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it’s time to go

Curtain’s finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it’s over now

Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone

You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on

Talkin’ about, girl, I love you, you’re the one

This just looks like the re-run

Please, what else is on

[chorus]

Break Ups? Shut Up && deal with it!~

                                                

Obviously this would hurt by now. all i just want is some peace and quiet now. but it seems where ever i head, there are guys after me. i don't mean to sound big headed or that i am in any way. but when i have a boyfriend, it seems more guys wants me. FInally when i broke up, which is just now at 10.30pm, June 14th 2008,i felt totally freedom && refreshed. I know i should feel said && all, but no, i am not. Alright. now you can finally say, "Hands Off Of Guys From Now On."  

Well at least for some months, fed up of the whole "i Love You Shit Scene" Ugh. Nothing else to report, hate him so much right now! && yet i was the one who broke up with him.. Haha, victory at one hand, pissed off at another, coz he was being a Jerk at d end. Bloody fellow. said the same thing when my friend broke it off with her Ex on April, "Thanks for the Memories!" Ugh can you guys get more CREATIVE?? Bloody Fall Out boy Song! Sheesh! He was over possessive, not protective, possessive. Annoying, irritating && every time we get quite && comfortable being together, We end up fighting. Yet he still says he "Loves me?" Please! All that Bull-Shit doe not effect me at all. Unless we have been together like 8 months. Honestly,Tom was the best first boyfriend ever. It was my stupidity that led me to say to myself, "Why don't i give it a try, you might not know?" Now, i will never do that again, Ever. I have to do the same thing like i was with Tom. That is why after Tom, i promised myself, ever swore that i would never cry over a guy again, i would never bring myself so low up to the point where i will have no dignity. I would never want a guy back && i would never break my promise. Never Again.

I mean, i would not know if he knew it was coming already. but the first time i looked at him, right into his eyes, after knowing at his attitude, his thinking, his soul. I knew everything was wrong. But some where deep inside me thought that i could change him with my lifestyle, it just made everything worse. && i knew that we were not meant to be. Besides He's a Malaysian. I tried to give the whole Malaysian guys a chance, but i am not meant for them i guess?

But he was the one that made me hate the relationship to begin with. Once he had to see his cousin in Johor. I do not know where, i ended it. he did not wanted to end it. && honestly i was looking for a reason to break-up with him already. && honestly, i have no idea what i am saying!! Sheesh, just speaking gibberish. Whatever. Laterz.

. 

Technical Break Down~

I missing poems. signing in && typing. but yet i don't. lol. i don't even know why i started blogging in the first place? maybe to be a online diary, where you, the readers get to see what i am up too. yeah, my drawings && work. it was supposed to be for fun and yet it has suddenly become, fun, a hassle && yet i sill do it?! my computer is sill down && i haven't fixed it yet. currently i'm on my friends laptop. not mine :'(. Oh well, more time for myself then && my assignments. sigh.~